Something Elsewhere
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Short stories, satires, thinking-out-loud stuff and nonsense for your enjoyment, amusement . . . or otherwise. Just utterly Elsewhere.
The musician, a fairly true story
The young man settled himself into the chair and placed his new guitar case on the floor beside him. His face raised into a natural if boyish smile, the outline of his cheeks rimmed by a flat, soft beard of the kind that many young men grow briefly and self-consciously in their eighteenth year. His hands clasped his knees in a juvenile gesture of delight. The man he was sitting beside... more >>
Added: 12 Apr 2013
AND ANOTHER 10 SHAMEFUL RECORD COVERS I'M PROUD TO OWN
Further to previous confessional postings along these lines (here and here), this is another installment in albums bought on the basis of their cover art -- although "art" is perhaps far too lofty a word for most. Bought out of curiosity about their contents, might be a better way of putting it. And what better one to start with than this appropriately titled collection . . .... more >>
Added: 10 Apr 2013 
2 Comments
SEDUCED BY SOUND: Let your passion be your passport
In his readable and funny Autobiography, Rod Stewart said when he was young his dad told him he needed three thing in life: a job, a sport and a hobby. Rod has singing, soccer and model railways: Done. When I read that I wondered what of them I had: None. As a freelancer writer there's no regular income, my idea of sport is seeing how fast I can go past it with the remote . . .... more >>
Added: 29 Mar 2013 1 Comment
10 SHAMEFUL RECORD COVERS I'M PROUD TO OWN
As mentioned previously in regard to Record Store Day -- the day when artists release albums and singles on vinyl to encourage people back to the format and into record shops -- people who just download music are missing something. Quite a lot of something. Not just sound quality but that tangible object: the record cover. Not all album covers are works of art however, and there's... more >>
Added: 25 Jan 2013
EVERYWHERE ELSEWHERE: Enter through the gift shop
Having paid our respects at Buddy Holly's grave in his hometown of Lubbock in west Texas, where the inscription takes the family spelling “Holley”, it was time to get serious. And shop. Back at the excellent Buddy Holly Center in town there was the inevitable gift shop and I had my eye on a bobble-head Buddy doll to match a Wonder Woman one I'd bought previously. These... more >>
Added: 30 Sep 2012
SPOTIFY'S HQ IN SWEDEN: The quiet revolution
The ambience of the Stockholm headquarters of Spotify – the world's fastest growing online music streaming service – isn't what you might expect. No skateboard-riding computer nerds giving high-fives and blasting some cutting-edge soundtrack as they chug energy drinks, no rowdy office banter around the coffee machine. If it weren't for a few handsomely framed photos of... more >>
Added: 19 Jun 2012
SPOTTED ON SPOTIFY: An endless stream of music
The hills – and elevators, supermarkets and doctors' waiting rooms – are alive with the sound of music. Yet despite being assailed by often unwanted Muzak, most of us still want music in our lives. And more of it judging by the success of iTunes, iPods and the download culture. You can add to that list a new player in the New Zealand market, Spotify, which brings you essential... more >>
Added: 24 May 2012 1 Comment
10 MORE SHAMEFUL RECORD COVERS I'M PROUD TO OWN
Further to the previous selection of bad taste or just plain awful album covers, comes this batch . . . kicking off with PIL playing the old Magritte card with their album That What is Not. Rene Magritte was the Belgian surrealist who painted a pipe and added the words "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" (This is not a pipe), the point being it wasn't a pipe, but a painting of a pipe.... more >>
Added: 21 May 2012
JOHN LENNON INTERVIEWED (1995): I hear you knocking
Former mop-topped pop singer and dead megastar John Lennon has given a “thumbs up” to the latest Beatle single Free as a Bird which his former chums in the band have released. “It’s a great song and the lads have really done me proud,” said Lennon earlier this week. “I originally wrote it for the Rutles but to have me old mates do it was a real... more >>
Added: 14 May 2012
FISTFUL OF VINYL: Records ride back over the horizon
A true coincidence? Within half an hour of speaking with my son in London about some wonderful on-line world which allows streaming access to what seems like a billion songs, a familiarly shaped parcel arrived at my door . It was of the kind the iPod generation probably knows very little about. It was a 12'' record in a beautiful gatefold sleeve. This was music – the... more >>
Added: 16 Apr 2012 1 Comment
In and Out of Fashion: The Style Council Deliberates
When Auckland model Renata and actress Alicia-Anne Crawford stepped out last week at Une Enveloppe to announce the opening of "Fashion Month'' -- Blair Trader's new eatery on Auckland's fashionable Sandringham Road -- there were audible whispers and faux-gasps in the room. Both were wearing outfits -- "consembles'' as Auckland couturier Stef Britta wittily observed -- in the style... more >>
Added: 1 Sep 2011
Scratching the surface: In praise of old time music
I confess to being a hoarder. Nothing embarrassing like bottles, matchboxes, or beer cans. I collect art objects. Well, records actually. Over the decades I've scrounged through junk shops and school fairs looking for that first Sadistic Mika Band album, things by Sam the Sham and Pharaohs, Japanese psychedelic rock from the early 70s, spoken word albums from the 40s, Gracie Fields' singles... more >>
Added: 9 Mar 2011
Great Lost Kiwi Singles: Rock follies
They are found at the back of cartons at record fairs, under beds in long abandoned houses and sometimes stored lovingly -- but rarely played -- in the collections of the obsessives. They are those great, and not that great, singles by Kiwi artists which existed either in limited pressings or were simply so awful the artists themselves tried to buy and destroy every copy. They are Kiwi... more >>
Added: 4 Oct 2010 7 Comments
Who do you think you are?: In search of my name in Scotland
When I was in primary school, I’d be teased about my name at least once every year. Not the unexceptional one on this article, but my full name, which some sneaky kid would discover by going through the teacher’s roll. For a couple of days, there would be finger-pointing kids in the playground, and me running red-faced behind the bike-shed at Normal Primary. Even my older sister... more >>
Added: 2 Aug 2010
Trade . . .Me? A story of failed entrepreneurialism
The new poster boy for entrepreneurs is 26-year old Canadian Kyle MacDonald: he’s the guy who traded a red paperclip for a fish-shaped pen, then traded that for a doorknob, that for a barbeque and so on. He’s still trading up and some weeks ago looked set to get a house out of his on-line trading skills. My negotiating abilities are such that the other day I was prepared... more >>
Added: 5 Jul 2010 1 Comment
The Power of Speech: a short story
I recently spent a rather distressing luncheon engagement with a moderately well-known author. Aside from hearing much invaluable gossip about better known writers than my friend, I was also treated to a complex deconstruction of language and literary theories that I did not think interesting or even appropriate over a long lunch. For our first cocktails my friend was diverted into a... more >>
Added: 14 Jun 2010
And The Horse You Rode Into Town On
It has been some time since I had hate mail, and while I can't say I miss it I always used to read the letters with interest and thought about what the people had to say. Then I chucked them away. Hate mail wasn't that common when I was at the Herald, but every now and again someone would fire something off, usually intemperate and you felt you could smell the wine on their hot breath as... more >>
Added: 8 Jun 2010 1 Comment
The Nightmare from Down Under: Paying the price for gluttony
The small city of Melaka two hours south of Kuala Lumpur is considered the cuisine capital of Malaysia, and my happy task there for a few days was to sample then write about the various foods -- notably the highly-spiced Baba-Nyonya style for which Melaka (aka Malacca and other variants) is renown. But with so many styles still to be sampled I decided to stay on longer and, to save money,... more >>
Added: 5 May 2009
Out of a Clear Blue Sky
Kevin Saatchi, CEO of the New York-based advertising and media company RobertsAndRoberts, said yesterday he was excited about his company being offered the contract to re-brand New Zealand for the 21st century. The five-year contract for RobertsAndRoberts to rename and re-brand the country came at the invitation of the government which has expressed increasing frustration with issues over... more >>
Added: 27 Apr 2009 2 Comments
Looking at Ourselves: the film New Zealand, in cinemas now
I honestly thought that the new Keanu film The Day The Earth Stood Still was the worst movie I had seen in decades, then last night we saw Australia. Far be it from me to be a spoiler -- and please go see it, if you must -- but we thought it the most trite, sentimental, predictable, cornball, overblown epic ever. And I've seen some clunkers from the Fifties -- which stand up better... more >>
Added: 23 Dec 2008 2 Comments
