Something Elsewhere

Short stories, satires, thinking-out-loud stuff and nonsense for your enjoyment, amusement . . . or otherwise. Just utterly Elsewhere.

Subscribe to my newsletter for weekly updates.

Decently and in Order: Necessary surveillance of civilians

4 Mar 2017  |  3 min read  |  1

A bill in the government's programme of proposed legislation has already won widespread public support despite drawing fire from civil liberties groups. The Urban Protocols (And Safety Standards) Bill is intended to make for better living environments and a more polite populace say Labour MPs. The bill's principal sponsor Phil Ryan (List, Westharbour) says the bill will "make for... > Read more

10 SHAMEFUL RECORDS I'M EMBARRASSED TO OWN: A trip from the tip

24 Feb 2017  |  8 min read

Elsewhere has been down a similar path with a series of 10 Shameful Record Covers I'm Proud to Own (see here, here, here and here). And there was also 10 Good Albums in Bad Covers . . . and two columns on 10 Odd Unplayed Albums in the Collection (here and here). But here are 10 albums which it just seems embarrassing to have in the same house as those Essential Elsewhere Albums let... > Read more

THE TAITE MUSIC PRIZE 2017: Turn and face the change . . .

9 Feb 2017  |  2 min read

The annual Taite Music Prize recognises outstanding creativity for an entire collection of music contained on one album. Named after the late Dylan Taite, one of New Zealand’s most respected music journalists, nominations are now open for the 2017 awards. The winner will receive a cash prize of $10,000 to be spent as they wish, thanks to Taite Music Prize founding... > Read more

DEATHBED CONFESSIONS: Reality television to die for

28 Jan 2017  |  3 min read

Just when the genre of reality television seemed to have run its course, the doyen of the style, Christie Julian, has, for want of a better phrase, given it a new lease on life with Deathbed Confessions, a series she describes as "a great leap forward which places emphasis on the 'reality' part of the equation". Speaking on her departure for the United States, where she is... > Read more

MUSIC, AND THE PRICE MUSICIANS PAY (2016): The New Zealand Music Foundation Wellbeing Service.

5 Nov 2016  |  2 min read

So, until he published his recent autobiography, who knew Bruce Springsteen had been suffering massive anxiety issues for over a decade? The man who seems to stride the world confidently has been on anti-depressants.  Those of us who read the biographies or autobiographies of musicians, or just encounter them as real people in the nature of work, are often aware that with some... > Read more

THE LANEWAY 2017 LINE-UP: Who and what you need to know

9 Oct 2016  |  16 min read

The now-annual St Jerome Laneway's Festival has put itself about a bit, and next year drops into a new home once more. This time it will be at Albert Park n the centre of Auckland on Monday, January 30 . . . which is conveniently a holiday, Auckland Anniversary Day. Elsewhere has offered preview and review coverage in the past but for next year's event has elicited the help of Elena... > Read more

THE 2016 APRA SILVER SCROLL AWARDS: The shortlist

1 Sep 2016  |  2 min read

If you pick up the Business section of the New Zealand Herald you start to wonder if there isn't anyone in those offices who hasn't been given some kind of award. The music world in New Zealand is a little more sparing in its prize-giving which makes awards nights like the annual APRA Silver Scrolls – where the best song is selected by the writer (or writers') peers -- very... > Read more

THE ORANGE BALLROOM (2016): The dance begins again

22 Jul 2016  |  2 min read

The actual name of the place is the Orange Coronation Hall and it was the lodge for the Irish Protestant Orangemen in Auckland. But everyone knows it as the Orange Ballroom, the name apparently bestowed on it by the late Bill Sevesi who – with his band the Islanders – played there from 1954 until the early Seventies. The old building on Newton Rd – which opened in... > Read more

THE FINALISTS, 2016 APRA SILVER SCROLL AWARD: And those in contention are . . .

21 Jul 2016  |  1 min read

The annual Silver Scroll award for songwriitng is considered one of the most -- if not the most -- prestigious awards the New Zealand music world can bestow. That's because it is the songwriters themselves (APRA members) who vote for the winner from a huge number of songwriter entries. The shortlist of 20 finalists has just been announced and we are pleased to publish it because someone... > Read more

ANOTHER 10 ODD UNPLAYED ALBUMS IN THE COLLECTION (2016): Make them stop!

18 Jul 2016  |  10 min read  |  2

In a previous column I wrote with some embarrassment about 10 odd unplayed albums which had sat on my shelves for many, many years. Decades in some instances. And many of them never even getting close to being played. They were my adopted but unloved children.  Some had arrived in my halfway house between pressing and trashing on the strength of their weird cover ( I have... > Read more

10 ODD UNPLAYED ALBUMS IN MY COLLECTION (2016): Get back on the shelf!

8 Jul 2016  |  9 min read

Charlie Watts once said of Keith Richards that he was someone music liked being around. Records seem attracted me in much the same way because they just keep turning up. Mostly it has been my fault, $20 could go a long way in the Real Groovy bargain bins just five years ago and so strange records would follow me home. But then there are a swag of others which I have and... > Read more

VOLUME: MAKING MUSIC IN AOTEAROA (2016): Songs from us for us

2 Jul 2016  |  <1 min read

The exhibition of New Zealand popular music at the Auckland War Memorial Museum is now open. It is entitled Volume: Making Music in Aotearoa and runs until May 2007. And it is free. It covers seven decades of music in Aotearoa New Zealand, from the days of rock'n'roll rebels in the Fifties to contemporary pop, hip-hop and r'n'b. There are literally hundreds of artefacts and... > Read more

THE GRANT GILLANDERS COLLECTIONS (2016): For the love of it

11 Jun 2016  |  5 min read

In the course of research for the Auckland War Memorial Museum exhibition Volume: Making Music in Aotearoa (opens October), it was a pleasure to go back and listen to so much New Zealand popular music of the past six decades. Elsewhere has a considerable collection – more Flying Nun that seems readily available, despite their on-going and admirable reissue programme – but... > Read more

Mod Bod by Gary Bayer

THE VODAFONE PACIFIC MUSIC AWARDS (2016): Can you see yourself, under a coconut tree . . .

10 Jun 2016  |  4 min read

This year's Vodafone Pacific Music Awards – held at Vodafone Events Centre in Auckland on June 9 – acknowledged (among many others) one of the country's longest running and most influential Pacific performing arts groups, Pacific Underground. The PU collective was awarded the MIT Lifetime Achievement Award for their work over more than two decades. PU formed in... > Read more

TERESA PATTERSON INTERVIEWED (2016): The business end of the music business

6 May 2016  |  7 min read

No one has ever been in much doubt that the music business is very much a business. It revolves as much around money and contracts and management and copyright as it does the songs at the heart of it. For young musicians — and even some senior players like Billy Joel who has been burned numerous times — negotiating a pathway through it is like breakdancing in a minefield.... > Read more

MAD ABOUT THE BEATLES (2016): John, Paul, George, Ringo and Alfred

21 Apr 2016  |  2 min read

Of course Mad magazine -- which had been skewering popular culture since its inception in the early Fifties -- would take an interest in the Beatles. Their hairstyles and distinctive appearance alone, not to mention their enormous popularity in America, made them an enjoyable target for satire, parody and cartoons by the magazine's in-house wits. Ringo was ripe for caricature. ... > Read more

MUSIC MANAGERS AWARDS (2016): And the envelope, please

18 Apr 2016  |  1 min read

In the past two decades a very clear music business has emerged in New Zealand. Being a musician is a viable career option these days – it's still going to be struggle however – but around the songmaker are circles of support, notably band managers who negotiate the minefield of contracts, record companies, distribution and touring. And then some. Getting a manager... > Read more

THE TAITE MUSIC PRIZE FINALISTS (2016): Money don't get everything it's true, but . . .

15 Apr 2016  |  1 min read

The old awards' show line is, "It's an honour just to be nominated . . ." But in the case of the annual Taite Music Prize it most certainly is because just to get onto the shortlist means you will be in illustrious and often innovative company.  Every year since 2010 the Taite Music Prize – named for the late journalist and music aficionado Dylan Taite – goes... > Read more

RANDOM RADIO (2015-16): Archived radio spots

9 Apr 2016  |  <1 min read

Because Elsewhere is so eclectic in its taste, Graham is frequently invited on to various radio programmes to discuss music, great concerts and the passing of some greats (and there have been a few lately) as well as introduce new and often different music to audiences. In the past 18 months he has been a regular on Radio Live with Karyn Hay (and sometimes Mike Puru and others) where the... > Read more

FRANK ZAPPA RESURRECTED (2016): The floorboards creak and out come the freaks

4 Apr 2016  |  3 min read

The importance and impact of some musicians far outstrips the sales of their albums or concert tickets. The late Frank Zappa – who died in '93 at just 52 – was one of those. Listen to just three or four of his albums chosen at random and you couldn't help but conclude that here was a musician unconstrained by style or genre, indifferent toward and, indeed aggressively... > Read more