FIVE ODD ALBUMS I'M FOOLISH ENOUGH TO OWN (2021): Hey! Ho! Let's . . . not go there!

 |   |  4 min read

FIVE ODD ALBUMS I'M FOOLISH ENOUGH TO OWN (2021): Hey! Ho! Let's . . . not go there!
You know how it happens. An album leaps out you from a dump bin in a secondhand record store (or dumped out in some strange neighbour's rubbish when they are moved on by the landlord ) and you think . . . why not?

To Elsewhere's shame (and secret pride) we have more than our fair share of such stuff (see the links at the end of this embarrassment for further evidence) but by chance a few recent ones made themselves known . . . by crawling toward us from bins and rubbish bags.

And they are all albums which are, thankfully, very hard to find through “the usual channels”.


The Schoenberg Knife Fight Ensemble: Oh, Yus, It's . . . (2009)

81EjnrwBQcL._SS500_As someone who owns the Vulcaneers' little-sought album Beat Me Off Scotty – a band out of the Bay Area in San Francisco – I'm obviously foolish enough to have this album by yet another bunch of US second generation punk-rockers from Venice (California not Italia) who recorded this album which I'm sure appealed to stoner frat-boys at the time.

(Pot smoking and Marilyn Manson get a mention on their excellent mini-epic and not-that-bad How Did It Get So Romantic in Here? with a big guitar solo!)

Needless to say I bought it for the band name and cover art – neither of which have anything to do with the five-piece rock contained within.

Although there's cello on the final song Schoenberg Six, so that's a classical reference, right?

Songs include Waterboarding USA, Phantom of the Copacabana, Chelsea Bitch Slap #2, Middle East Song and Dog the Bounty Hunter.

So, if you could understand the singer there might be some penetrating political and social insight going on.

They are however a very efficient rock band with a reckless guitarist who commands attention every time he gets a chance.

I'm amazed they weren't as big as . . . the Vulcaneers?


Ardkore: Napalm Stix to Kidz!! (1989)

27065_logoA British band of five angry young men -- only one a fully-fledged skinhead -- who exploded out of Teeside but recorded this, their sole album, in Cleveland and broke up before it was released.

So that make this a rarity but hardly unique in the flat-tack, trashcore genre or particularly insightful beyond the cliches: “it's no fun to fuck with war, we don't care if you end up dead” on Judge of Death.

I bought this ($5?) on the basis of it being so obvious from the band's name to the song titles: Apolcalypso, To Die is Not Enough, Death Charge, Brainslam, Testament of Lies, No Good Evil . . .

And that's just the first side, I never got around to the pleasures of Aggressor of Pain, Violence, Evil Dead etc on the second side.

Although one day I will make time to hear the final song which just went to show how angry these young people were: Kill the Lollipop Lady.



Liberace: Plays Golden Themes from Hollywood (1964)

R_9317844_1478967503_8345.jpegAnd he does in that somewhat ham-fisted, over-embellished way he had . . . but there are some terrific tunes here like More (from Mondo Cane), the theme to that excellent Audrey Hepburn/Gregory Peck thriller Charade (Hitchcock by any other name), the themes from Exodus, A Summer Place and Never on a Sunday, Maria from West Side Story, the always gorgeous Moon River . . . Most of which he spoils completely.

Nice and unexpected boogie-woogie on Women of the World however! 

When you've had your fill of Ardkore however, this is where you go for romance and pink chintzy music.


Various Artists: Royal Wedding HRH Prince Andrew and Miss Sarah Ferguson (1986)

s_l1600Still in the mood for romance and being swept away post-Liberace?

Although I have absolutely no interest in the British royals – aside from watching The Crown and the hilarious parody The Windsors with the brilliant Harry Enfield – I do have a number of albums like this: the Charles'n'Di one, the balding guy married to the leggy brunette, an album of the Queen's life from “Childhood to the Throne” and so on.

They have all been dirt cheap and I expect will soar in value when the monarchy is rendered redundant.

This one has the whole thing from fanfare and bridal procession though hymns and Biblical readings to Mozart while the happy couple sign the register and then “Departure from Westminster Abbey”.

A concept album I guess. 

Never listened to it, I think you had to be there.


Dusan Radic/Borislav Pascan: The Long Ships OST (1964)

Screen_Shot_2021_05_06_at_9.44.12_AMIf you haven't seen this superbly trashy B-grade Viking epic starring Sidney Poitier, Richard Widmark and Russ Tamblyn you've missed laugh aloud classic.

There are sheiks (yes, the Vikings got around), a big golden bell (which somehow, despite its weight, floats), a slide of death down a massive blade (the famous “mare of steel”!) and lots of Scandi carousing.

It must have been an expensive production – a six month shoot for which they built a Viking village and long ships – and they didn't spare the money when it came to the soundtrack either: composer Radic and conductor Pascan had a 65-piece orchestra at their command.

It is stirring, rambunctious stuff of course with some exotic Moroccan elements (that's where the bell is) . . . but of course you need to see the film to fully appreciate it.

And you really should. Widmark as the shipwrecked Rolfe escapes the clutches on the mean moor Aly Mansuh (Poitier) and, I swear this true . . . he swims back home . . . from North Africa to somewhere in Scandinavia?

Elsewhere has a number of columns along these lines, click the title for the following

10 Solo Albums by Group Members

Five Odd Albums No One Should Own (but I do)

Five French Albums I'm Surprised I Own

10 Shameful Records I'm Embarrassed to Own

10 Odd Unplayed Albums in My Collection

Another 10 Odd Unplayed Albums in My Collection

10 Unusual 10 Inch Records I'm Surprised I Own

10 Good Albums in Bad Covers

10 More Shameful Record Covers I'm Proud to Own

And Another 10 More Shameful Record Covers I'm Proud to Own

10 Rare Free Jazz Albums I'm Proud to Own

10 Somewhat Rare Reggae Albums I'm Proud to Own

and there is probably much more . . .    

Share It

Your Comments

post a comment

More from this section   Something Elsewhere articles index

THE TAITE MUSIC PRIZE FINALISTS (2021): The independent spirits

THE TAITE MUSIC PRIZE FINALISTS (2021): The independent spirits

Named after the late Dylan Taite, one of New Zealand’s most respected music journalists, the Taite Music Prize recognises outstanding creativity for an entire collection of music... > Read more

THE POLYNESIAN PANTHERS REFLECT (2001): Three decades on from the dawn raids

THE POLYNESIAN PANTHERS REFLECT (2001): Three decades on from the dawn raids

For anyone who lived through the period, the iconography and images still resonate: the clenched fists in leather gloves, the lines of civilian-soldiers in empowering uniforms of black polo-neck... > Read more

Elsewhere at Elsewhere

Quincy Jones: The professional in the pissoir.

Quincy Jones: The professional in the pissoir.

So there I was at the urinal when Quincy Jones walks and says, "Hi Graham". It was awkward to shake his hand so I just nodded and asked him if he was enjoying his evening. Now Quincy --... > Read more

THE BARGAIN BUY: The Sony "Original Album Classics" series: Softly, softly

THE BARGAIN BUY: The Sony "Original Album Classics" series: Softly, softly

What is that saying? The heart wants what the heart wants? And sometimes hearts just want to slow the pace, turn the volume dpwn and just let some really really nice music wash over it. Well,... > Read more